Why fix it if it is broken?

In the first post I wrote about Mara’s autism, I said, “Mara is not broken.”  I still firmly believe this.  She is fascinating.  She is intelligent.  She is fun, sweet and beautiful.  I keep asking myself, though…if Mara is not broken, why am I trying so desperately to fix her?  Why are we spending ALL our time in therapy instead of going to the park or the pool?  Why do I want to change her?

I didn’t know the answer to this question, so I talked to Karl about it. I asked him, “Why are we doing all of this? Are we trying to ‘fix’ her?” He said, “No, we’re trying to help her.” “Trying to help her be more like us?” I asked. “No,” he said. “Trying to help her survive with the rest of us.”

It’s true. Mara can’t function in this world if she can’t communicate effectively. However awesome she is, she still has to be able to express herself. I just hope that we don’t take away part of who she is, who she was made to be, with all of the things we are doing to help her. Dang this is hard.


Why fix it if it is broken? — 1 Comment

  1. Amy, you married a very smart man. His expresses his sentiments well, and they make perfect sense. I would change one word though and say: “Trying to help her survive “like” the rest of us.” We all have to adapt. Heaven forbid if the world had to accommodate all my needs. It is about survival for everyone. I love reading your blogs, Amy. You are so honest. A lot of parents appreciate this because you express how they feel but are afraid to say it.

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